Where I wanted to take this a few months ago was what I thought I wanted. However, like the very true girl that I am, I changed my mind. And the beauty in this is that I can. This is my blog, and sometimes I geek out that I have it. It means a lot that people read it. That there are some people out there reading some of the hardest things that I have gone though and while I know that it’s a small number of people I am still very grateful for them.
I’m just going to start by saying where I really wanted to take this whole thing about my relationships. I mentioned in my other post that I wanted to start with the beginning and I still do, but I also want to be honest and talk about the main reason that pushed me to start my own blog. I was in a relationship for 5 years and it ended…and it ended bad. So much so that to this day I am still hurting because of it. Of course, that pain has gotten better, and it doesn’t hurt as much, but it’s still there and there are things that I need to do for myself. There are a lot of issues that bore out of my circumstance, but there were good things. Things that needed to be brought to the light. So, while this heartbreak was and is the hardest thing that I’ve gone through it’s also the very thing that I needed.
I only ever want to disclose how I felt and how I am now healing. I’ve been healing for the last 7 months and I will continue to do so. If you’re thinking that’s such a long time I’m right there with you. But this is my process, and if anyone knows me personally I tend to take my time with things. It’s honestly really fitting for me. Now having said this, there have been times where the pain is so much, I don’t deal. Hence why the last time I posted was 3 months ago. I want to be honest, honest to the point where I will be uncomfortable. When I share things, I want to share them from my point of view, how the circumstance made ME feel. I feel the need to say this, so it’s understood that these are my feelings and thoughts
Now, I’m not going to make promises that I can’t keep. But I do want to try, try harder than I’ve been. When times get tough I want to push pass whatever is holding me back and keep going. I want to write as much as I can and keep up with a schedule to post. I’m not entirely sure that I have an outline quite yet, but it’s something I’m working on. Lastly, if you have been reading for a bit, and have come back to check on my posts and well-being, I’m here to say I am ok, and thank you.